When I was expecting my first child, I thought I was fully prepared. I stocked up on all the necessities: burp cloths, a crib, a baby swing, a mountain of creams and lotions, diapers, and a ton of adorable tiny outfits. I had enough to fill a storage unit and received even more as gifts. I took a birthing class and devoured countless articles about childbirth and the newborn phase. I was ready and then some.
But once my baby arrived, wailing at the top of his lungs, I quickly realized I had no clue what I was in for. I assumed that caring for a baby merely involved feeding, changing, and putting them to bed at regular intervals. What was I thinking?
It wasn’t just that I underestimated the effort or the exhaustion; I had no idea that even the simplest baby-care tasks could be far more complicated than portrayed in books, TV shows, or online. I learned that babies aren’t just adorable little beings; they’re unique mini-humans equipped with their own personalities, quirks, and preferences from the very start. The best approach is to embrace their individuality and understand that routines, independence, and what we consider “normal” often develop later than we anticipate.
Here are some hard truths about the baby stage that I wish someone had shared with me before diving headfirst into parenthood:
- Crying Without Clarity
Sometimes, babies cry for what seems like no reason at all. My little ones were colicky, fussing and wailing from around 5 p.m. until midnight unless we were moving or nursing. It was utterly draining. I kept wondering if it was something I ate, gas, or maybe they just missed the womb. Ultimately, I learned that crying is a normal part of baby life, especially in the evenings, and it usually resolves itself over time. - Not All Babies Enjoy the Car
I had thought the car would be a cozy place for my baby, like a little rocking cradle. Boy, was I wrong! Both of my kids screamed their heads off in the car. Only one of them would occasionally fall asleep back there. For them, the car felt more like a prison than a soothing space. - Frequent Feedings
The books promised me my baby would nurse every two to three hours. Well, sometimes it was every hour, or even every half hour in the evenings. It was exhausting but did result in some chunky babies, so there’s that! - Some Babies Refuse to Be Put Down
We had a fancy baby swing with cute rotating fish and soothing tunes, but my son wanted nothing to do with it. He only wanted to be held. Thankfully, he eventually took to the swing, but by then, he had nearly outgrown it. Such is life! - Short Naps Are the Norm
I had a co-sleeper bassinet and tried desperately to get my baby to nap in it. I’d wait until he was dead asleep before gently placing him down, only for him to wake up immediately. I soon realized that the only way he would nap was on me—and even then, those naps rarely exceeded 30 minutes for quite a while. - The ‘Put Them Down Drowsy but Awake’ Advice Doesn’t Work for Everyone
Everyone told me to lay my baby down when he was drowsy but still awake. I tried it endlessly, but if he was awake, he certainly wasn’t falling asleep. If I laid him down, he wailed like there was no tomorrow. Some babies might respond to this, but mine did not. - Schedules? What Schedules?
I thrive on schedules; they keep my life organized. However, my newborn had no interest in following any schedule at all. I tried to create one for my sanity, but it was just a cycle of eat, sleep, wake, and repeat—randomly. Just when I thought I saw a pattern, it would change! - Babies Experience Pain and Love
I truly believe that those early smiles aren’t just gas. Babies recognize love from the moment they see your face or hear your voice. They also feel pain, which is backed by recent research. I felt their discomfort deeply, whether it was from gas or vaccinations.
One evening, while my second child was fussing, I realized that in all their relentless neediness, babies communicate something profound: “Hi, I’m here. I’m real. I love you. And your life will never be the same.” This realization was a pivotal moment in my journey as a parent.
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Summary:
Parenting a newborn comes with many unexpected challenges that aren’t always covered in the books. From frequent crying to unpredictable feeding patterns, the journey is full of surprises. Understanding that babies are unique individuals with their own needs can help parents navigate this phase with more confidence.