I’ve always struggled with the word “no.” As someone who thrives on making others happy, I often find myself putting their needs before my own. Being empathetic, I feel deeply for those around me, and it drives me to help even when it leads to neglecting my own well-being. While friends and family often describe me as generous and dependable, I’ve realized that this comes at a cost. Too many times, I’ve ended up depleted, prioritizing others’ happiness over my own.
For years, I had been a stay-at-home mom—let’s call her Lisa—managing not just household duties but also balancing freelance writing, running a small business, and holding a volunteer position. With a husband who was away for long hours and minimal outside help, the weight of my commitments began to take a toll. My family and I were suffering, yet I found it difficult to let go of the extra responsibilities that were draining my energy.
One particularly poignant moment stood out: while I was engrossed in responding to work emails, my 3-year-old, Alex, tugged at my sleeve and said, “Mommy, put down your phone. I miss you.” Those words hit me like a ton of bricks. The most important responsibility I had was right there, and I had been neglecting it.
That was the turning point. I decided to step back from my volunteer role. To my surprise, the organization continued to thrive without me. I also put my business on hold until Alex was in school full-time. Additionally, I took stock of my social media connections, unfollowing and blocking those who drained my spirit.
Establishing boundaries can be painful, but I’ve come to appreciate their importance. I’ve found a saying that resonates with me: “You can be a good person with a kind heart and still say no.” This will be my guiding principle moving forward. No matter what, I can maintain my kindness while learning to prioritize my own needs.
I know I’m not alone in this struggle. Many women, especially mothers, feel the pressure to keep everyone happy and fear that asserting themselves is a sign of weakness. It’s not; it’s a form of strength. Our children need to witness our ability to stand up for ourselves and to understand that we can’t contribute to others’ happiness if we’re not content ourselves.
So, I give you permission to say no—let go of the guilt and take ownership of your life. Trust your instincts. Listen to your heart. You deserve it, and it feels liberating!
For further insights on this topic, check out this blog post and consider resources like Make a Mom for additional knowledge on home insemination. Another excellent source for pregnancy and self-care is Kindbody’s Blog.
In summary, learning to say no is not a weakness, but rather a vital step toward self-care. Embrace this strength for your well-being and for the happiness of those around you.