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I’ve Never Fully Embraced the Holiday Spirit, But I’m Ready to Start Now
It’s funny how the holidays roll around at the same time each year, yet somehow they always catch me off guard. One moment, I’m enjoying my usual playlist, and the next, it feels like I’m drowning in renditions of “Santa Baby.” And then there’s my neighbor, who seems to have taken tips from Clark Griswold — seriously, who’s footing that electric bill?
While everyone else seems to be swept up in the frenzy of holiday cooking, I struggle to muster any enthusiasm for extravagant meals. Just between us, I’m not a fan of green beans or fried onions, and when they touch each other? No thanks! Setting the table is a chore I’d rather avoid, and I certainly don’t see the point in brewing coffee late at night just because we indulged in too many desserts. It all feels a bit overwhelming.
But before you gather your red Starbucks cups to criticize me for my lack of holiday spirit, let me ask: Is it possible to celebrate in the traditional, Hallmark Channel way when you’re missing one essential element — a community?
Some individuals, like those deployed or living abroad, are separated from their loved ones, which is undoubtedly challenging. But I’m also thinking about the woman across the street who is housebound and receives daily care, or those who have outlived their family or feel forgotten. I’m referring to those who struggle with anxiety or depression, or even people like me who, due to personal circumstances, find themselves facing another holiday season without a full house.
For us, Thanksgiving feels like just another Thursday instead of a day filled with planning and anticipation.
Holidays have been a mixed bag for me for quite some time. After my parents separated when I was 16, our family unit already felt small. Losing my father just days before Christmas a decade ago certainly cast a shadow over the festive season. And more recently, my husband and I have faced our own struggles, with tough moments seeming to arise each November. This year has been no exception. However, when my mother lamented, “Why even bother? What do we have to be thankful for?” in a moment of disappointment, I took a step back to reconsider.
Instead of focusing on what I should be thankful for, I allowed myself to mourn the dreams I once had — dreams of a large, loving family, filled with laughter, stories shared around a bustling table, and friends lingering until the last glass of wine was sipped. That image is not my reality. But my aim is to cover that grief with a new perspective — one of gratitude.
My circle may be small and a little cracked, but it doesn’t mean I lack things to be grateful for. First and foremost, I have my happy, healthy toddler, who deserves a different kind of holiday experience. I want to teach him that love can be found in the smallest moments, in quiet days and simple pleasures. “Special” doesn’t have to mean extravagant parties and feasts; it can be found in shared glances and peaceful times together.
As the world urges us to seek purpose and meaning, we will remind each other that while a larger community can be nice, it’s not essential. We’ll return to the true essence of this season — honoring each other, cherishing what we have, and even appreciating what we lack. In the end, we might find joy in avoiding heated political debates, dry turkey, and those notorious green bean casseroles that no one really enjoys.
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In summary, while I may not have fully embraced the holiday spirit in the past, I’m ready to shift my focus towards gratitude and create meaningful moments, no matter how small.