In 2009, while strolling outside a hotel with my 2-year-old son, Noah, an incident occurred that left me shaken. Noah was fascinated by a flowerbed and wanted to play in the sprinklers. When I told him it was time to go inside, he suddenly went limp, as he often did when reluctant to move. In that moment, I felt a disturbing pop in his arm.
Unbeknownst to me, a toddler’s elbow can easily slide out of place, similar to a shoe that’s not tied properly. When Noah screamed in pain, his right arm dangling uselessly at his side, panic set in. We were visiting southern Utah for a theater festival with my family, and I was outside trying to keep Noah quiet while my partner, Sarah, rested.
At just 24, and a new father, my mind spiraled into the worst-case scenario. Until that moment, Noah had always seemed resilient, bouncing back from falls and tumbles. But now, I feared I had seriously injured him. This fear, I later realized, is a common anxiety among new parents and often stems from hearing tragic stories of accidents that could happen due to simple mistakes.
Prior to Noah’s arrival, I had faced my own doubts about being a parent. Friends had jokingly questioned my qualifications, and I constantly worried that I wouldn’t measure up. Now, as I cradled my son, his tear-streaked face breaking my heart, I battled the nagging worry of causing him permanent harm or even having him taken away from me.
I carried him into the hotel room where Sarah was getting ready. As soon as Noah saw her, he lifted his left arm, attempting to raise both, but the pain held him back. Seeing him struggle filled me with a sense of helplessness I had never experienced before.
“What happened?” Sarah asked, concerned.
I explained how Noah had gone limp and the pop I felt. “What do we do now?” I asked, unsure of the next steps. The thought of taking him to the doctor was daunting, especially given our limited insurance coverage. I worried they wouldn’t believe me and that I’d face dire consequences.
Over time, I’ve learned to navigate such situations better, but in that moment, I was terrified. Sarah, often the calm one between us, suggested we call a nurse. “We can do that?” I responded, surprised.
“Of course! There’s a number on our insurance card,” she replied, as if I had just discovered fire.
When I connected with the nurse and explained the situation, I noticed Noah beginning to play in the room, albeit with his arm still hanging limply. The nurse calmly informed me that Noah likely had a condition known as Nursemaid’s elbow, a common injury in toddlers that often requires a visit to urgent care to fix.
After realizing that this was a frequent occurrence for many children, I felt a mix of relief and embarrassment. Just then, as I was on the phone, Noah tripped over my foot and fell on his right shoulder. When he stood up, he could suddenly use his arm again. I told the nurse what happened, and she confirmed that it seemed he’d managed to pop it back into place.
Feeling a wave of relief wash over me, I couldn’t help but share my embarrassment with the nurse. “I feel like such a bad parent,” I confessed, “I’m trying my hardest. Am I doing something wrong?”
She paused, her tone reassuring. “Being a parent is not easy. Kids can be unpredictable, and sometimes accidents happen. The fact that you’re so concerned shows you’re doing just fine.” Her words touched me deeply, reminding me that worries are part of the journey.
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In summary, Nursemaid’s elbow is a common yet frightening experience for many parents, especially those new to the challenges of childcare. It’s important to understand that such incidents happen to many families, and seeking help or advice is part of being a responsible and caring parent.