It’s taken a considerable amount of introspection and therapy to reach this point. Everyone told me that parenting comes without a manual, and they were absolutely right. After three years of navigating this journey, I’ve learned something crucial: while children need food, affection, and rest, dealing with adults can be a real challenge. If only grown-ups came with a guide!
This realization is part of why I began attending therapy—a choice that has truly transformed my life. I’ve spent countless hours unpacking past relationships, working through feelings, and learning the art of letting go. And, believe me, I’ve gotten pretty good at it. I can twist my thoughts to understand others’ perspectives and find forgiveness. However, there remains one group I struggle to comprehend: those who have chosen to completely ignore my children.
According to my therapist, this phenomenon isn’t uncommon, but I still can’t fathom how anyone can live with themselves after turning their back on children. Perhaps I shouldn’t let this bother me, but there are some words that need to be expressed, and today I feel compelled to share them.
To Those Who Faded From My Life
To those who faded from my life when I became a parent, I have one burning question: What on earth is wrong with you? Did you really think you could claim to love me for years and then vanish when I welcomed my little ones? Do you think I could ever believe your affection was genuine when you completely disregard my children, who are now at the center of my life?
If you didn’t want to be part of my journey, I could understand that. I’m no angel; I have my flaws—my humor can be grating, I’m often late, and the list goes on. Yet, you were there for all of it. You were part of my life through highs and lows until my first child arrived. Why did that change?
Initially, it stung. I yearned to share my excitement with you, to introduce you to the amazing little person I had created. However, my calls went unanswered, and visits were nonexistent. I’m not asking for you to drop everything to create an album of my kids, but a little acknowledgment of their existence would have been appreciated.
I’ve moved past the hurt. The truth is, if you’re too self-absorbed to recognize the happiness my children bring, that’s your loss—a substantial one. You aren’t here to witness it, so let me enlighten you: My son has a laugh that resonates like a bell, and his hugs are pure joy. His comedic timing is nothing short of impressive. And my daughter? She’s a vibrant whirlwind, exploring life with wonder. The sound of her tiny feet on the floor is music to my ears.
You checked out of my family at the most exciting part. You left just before the curtain rose on the best scenes of our lives. If you don’t care enough to connect with the children who are so full of love, then you simply don’t deserve to be a part of their lives. And that’s just the way it is.
I hope you find happiness, truly. Because we certainly will.
Resources for Parents
For those interested in the journey of parenthood and the essentials that come with it, I recommend checking out this excellent resource on pregnancy here. Also, if you’re looking into home insemination, this article offers valuable insights. And for those seeking the right tools for self-insemination, this is a trusted resource.
Summary
This piece reflects on the emotional turmoil experienced by a parent when friends and family vanish after the arrival of children. It emphasizes the importance of acknowledging the new joys in a parent’s life and the disappointment faced when loved ones choose not to engage. Ultimately, it highlights the resilience gained through therapy and the realization that those who miss out on the joy of children are the ones truly losing out.