As we reach the midpoint of a military deployment, the experience feels both prolonged and fleeting. For our family, this phase is a blend of rapid changes and moments that seem to stretch endlessly. Here’s a glimpse into our journey.
Pre-Deployment Phase
The tension is palpable—let the disagreements commence! The entire family is caught in a rush of emotions, anxiously awaiting the inevitable. Rather than confronting the underlying worries, we find ourselves bickering over trivial matters, like unwashed dishes in the sink. Then, reality hits hard with the farewell.
Early Deployment Phase
At this stage, everyone feels emotionally raw and vulnerable. I hesitate to express my feelings openly, fearing that once the emotional dam breaks, it will unleash a torrent of sorrow. During this time, we may experience misplaced anger and a profound sense of loneliness. The sleepless nights add to the heaviness, as we navigate through the emotional turbulence.
The Halfway Point
As we reach the halfway mark, acceptance begins to settle in for those of us at home. We start to adapt to a “new normal,” while the service member grapples with feelings of disconnection: “Does my family even miss me anymore? It seems like life is moving on without me.” However, this perception is misleading. What ensues is a survival mode—fight or flight. In our household, we choose to fight. We press on, knowing that giving up is not an option. The kids understand this, and so do I.
The service member often feels a diminishing role in parenting, while I bear the weight of the family’s responsibilities. His well-meaning suggestions may come across as criticisms, leading to my curt responses. This cycle continues, even though we are aware of it, as it drags us into a less favorable emotional state.
Every separation brings distinct challenges, shaped by our life circumstances. The years spent managing toddlers with hearing loss were overwhelming, dominated by the demands of parenting: baths, meals, household chores, and medical appointments. Now, as we face the teenage years, the stakes are higher—peer pressure, school responsibilities, and the complexities of adolescence loom large.
Yet amidst these challenges, there is a silver lining. The adage rings true: absence truly makes the heart grow fonder. The little moments of connection become more precious, allowing the essence of our relationship to shine.
As we reach this midpoint, it feels like a “7th Inning Stretch” in our journey. I am holding on tight as we prepare for the final push. For more insights into family experiences during deployments, you can explore this resource.
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In summary, our family navigates the emotional highs and lows of military deployment, adapting to new realities and cherishing the love that endures despite the distance.