When Your Son Admires Princesses While Society Expects Him to Prefer Trucks

self insemination kit

Parenting

By Jamie Thompson

I have a son who adores princesses. His favorite is Elsa, but he also has a fondness for Belle and Moana. He wraps himself in his cozy, winter-white fleece blanket—the same one he’s cherished since he was a baby—and announces, “Look at me, Mommy. I’m Elsa. I’m different.”

What he means is that he’s not the Elsa who wears the purple cape at the start of the movie. Instead, he embodies the Elsa who has escaped and transformed into her stunning snow-and-ice gown. He identifies with the Elsa who has been told, “You’ve changed. You’re different.” Yes, Elsa is unique, and so is my little boy. Both are distinct from what society deems acceptable.

My heart fills with pride at his creativity and enthusiasm, yet it also bears the weight of anxiety and concern. As he twirls in his soft, imaginative realm, singing “Let it Go,” a pang of dread strikes deep within me.

He is so perfect and so passionate. And he stands on the brink of being judged.

I know that ridicule will come; people can be unkind. Someone will likely mock him soon for his love of Elsa and her enchanting gown, a gown he longs for every time we venture down the Disney aisle at the store. Each time he asks for it, I grapple with how to respond. I hesitate to encourage him, fearing it could lead to future heartache. Yet, I also don’t want to stifle his joy, which could lead to a different kind of pain. Either way, the outcome seems to lead to suffering.

I’ve witnessed friends embrace their individuality only to face harsh judgment from a society that clings to rigid norms. Conversely, I’ve seen others suppress their true selves, resulting in internal suffering. How do I guide him through this?

It’s a painful realization that no matter how I respond, the world has already imposed narrow definitions of what’s acceptable. Society expects little boys to like trucks and little girls to love glittery dresses. It’s a restrictive rule that doesn’t allow for variation.

Ironically, society promotes clichés that encourage self-expression: “Be Yourself. Embrace Your Differences. Break the Mold.” Yet, these messages are often hollow. Acceptance is conditional, limited to those who conform to gender norms.

Being true to oneself can be particularly challenging for boys who don’t fit the expected mold. Unlike girls who may be accepted as “tomboys,” there is no equivalent term for boys who enjoy traditionally feminine interests. Society often frowns upon boys who show affection for princesses or the color pink.

I’ve noticed someone has already planted seeds of doubt in my son’s mind. Recently, he asked me, “Mommy, are pink and purple girl colors?” Each time he poses this question, it stings. “No, boys can wear pink and purple too. Anyone can wear those colors! Daddy’s football team wears purple, and they’re all boys,” I reassure him.

He nods in agreement, “Yes, anyone can wear pink and purple.” I hug him tightly, wishing I could shield him from a world that might not accept him as he is.

“I’m Elsa and I’m different,” he spins again in his blanket. This prompts thoughts of his “different” Elsa, who had to flee from societal norms, ultimately causing her much pain until she embraced her true self.

I will not let my innocent son suffer the same fate. If he loves princesses, the color pink, Peppa Pig’s playhouse, and Strawberry Shortcake, I refuse to tell him otherwise. I will not suppress his feelings or deny his identity.

I understand this choice may lead to heartache for both of us. His innocence will eventually be challenged, and when that day comes, my heart will ache for him. However, I believe that it’s far more damaging to teach him to reject who he is.

I’m uncertain if my son will continue to embrace these interests as he grows. He might become a teen or adult who still loves princesses, and that would be perfectly fine. Or he may choose a different path, which is okay too. Only time will reveal the truth, but for now, my son loves princesses and pink, and that’s absolutely right.

I love my son, and I genuinely believe that love is the antidote to hate. To foster this love, we must first accept ourselves. Therefore, when he asks for an Elsa gown for Christmas, my answer must be, “Sure.” I must reassure him that his choices are valid and that he is wonderful just as he is. He is different. Elsa would be proud.

In navigating the complexities of parenting in a society that often imposes rigid expectations, it can be helpful to explore resources such as this article for insights. Additionally, Make A Mom is an authority on home insemination topics, and Rmany offers excellent resources for pregnancy and family planning.

In summary, it’s crucial to support our children’s identities, even when they diverge from societal norms. Encouraging self-acceptance and love can create a nurturing environment where they feel free to express themselves authentically.