Do you have a friend who stands by you through thick and thin? A friend you can reach out to at any time, regardless of how long it’s been since you last connected? That’s your “always friend.” An always friend is someone who remains a constant presence in your life, no matter how much time passes or how circumstances change. This unique bond is something everyone should have at least one of.
Typically, your always friend is someone you’ve known for a significant period. They’ve witnessed your life’s ups and downs, offering support during both joyous and challenging moments. However, life can sometimes lead to drifting apart. It’s not unusual to have friends who come in and out of your life, often unintentionally. As we grow older, maintaining friendships can become increasingly complex.
I’m fortunate to have a couple of these always friends. My closest one, Alex, has been by my side since our early teenage years. During that time, we were inseparable, much to our parents’ chagrin. Yet, as we transitioned into our teenage years, we began to drift apart.
Navigating transitions can be particularly challenging for an always friend. As you expand your social circle and meet new individuals, you might feel less reliant on that friend who has always been there for you. New friendships can bring excitement, but it doesn’t mean your bond with your always friend is any less significant.
For Alex and me, the first real test of our friendship occurred in our late teens when our paths started to diverge. Adjusting to these changes was difficult, and I found myself questioning if our friendship could withstand the shifts. Even though we hadn’t fundamentally changed, I worried about whether Alex would still fit into my evolving life, and she had similar concerns.
Building a lasting friendship requires effort. You must actively nurture your bond, whether through grand gestures or small daily interactions. In our early 20s, we frequently tested our friendship’s limits. We were both exploring new lives, meeting new people, and discovering different aspects of ourselves. However, when tough times arose, I knew I could always count on Alex.
Even if she wasn’t physically by my side, her presence was felt. She became my safe space, the person I could turn to when I needed support. No one understands you quite like your always friend, making them the go-to person when you need reassurance.
As life continues to evolve—whether through new relationships, career changes, or parenthood—these transformations can test your commitment to each other. Alex and I experienced a period of distance in our mid-20s, with her focusing on motherhood while I explored new love. Our conversations became less frequent, and it felt like we were worlds apart. Nonetheless, we both knew that if the other needed assistance, we would drop everything to help.
The last few years marked a turning point in our friendship. We both faced significant life changes, and I worried that our bond had weakened. But the truth is, you can’t lose an always friend. The strength of your connection means you’ll always be attuned to each other’s needs. Those needs naturally draw you back together. Our friendship is stronger than ever, and we recently commemorated two decades of our bond by getting matching tattoos that say “always.”
Having an always friend—someone you can rely on during tough times—is a rare gift. Growing alongside someone involves allowing them to be an integral part of your life, even when distance separates you. Sometimes, we may need to drift apart to grow and become better for each other. A friendship that can endure time, distance, and the presence of new people is invaluable. Knowing they’ll be there for you when it matters most is truly priceless.
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In summary, having an “always friend” provides a unique and invaluable support system throughout life’s ups and downs. This bond is worth nurturing through all of life’s changes.