Let’s be honest: You won’t ever hear a broadcaster excitedly shout, “Monday! Monday! Monday!” There’s really not much to be thrilled about when it comes to this day of the week. Most of us dread returning to work or school, especially when our office has transformed into our kitchen table due to the pandemic. Suddenly, there’s a mountain of emails to tackle, countless meetings, and a barrage of calls asking, “Did you think about that over the weekend?” No! I was trying to enjoy my weekend! Mondays bring a lot of pressure, which is why they have a reputation for being the least liked day. There’s even a whole genre of motivational quotes to help you navigate the transition from the Sunday blues to the workweek.
But we can still find humor in the chaos, right? Sometimes, making a joke about a tough situation is the best way to cope. Got a flat tire? There’s a joke for that. Dealing with a breakup? Plenty of jokes exist for that too. Miss your new puppy? You guessed it—there are jokes for that as well. And Mondays are no exception! Here’s a collection of jokes that mix sarcasm with silliness, perfect for making it through even the dullest of tasks. (Like that meeting with Development that could have just been an email, right, Molly?)
- Rolling out of bed on Mondays is easy. Getting off the floor is much harder.
- A single day on Venus lasts 5,832 hours. Just like one Monday on Earth.
- On the bright side, at least Mondays only happen once a week.
- When does Monday come before Sunday? In the dictionary.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Monday. Go away!
- What’s the most annoying thing for NFL players starting the week? Monday morning quarterbacks.
- If Monday had a face, I would punch it.
- Sunday and Monday are in a fight. Who wins? Sunday. Monday is a weekday, and we feel weak on Mondays too.
- Monday is an awful way to spend one-seventh of your life.
- What do you call Mondays without any Zoom meetings? Meetless Mondays.
- What’s the most depressing sound on Monday? Alarm clocks!
- What’s the number one thing schoolchildren wish for on Sundays? A foot of snow by Monday.
- I like Tuesday simply because it’s the furthest from next Monday I can be.
- What’s the saddest part of the week? Monday mournings.
- Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at these Monday jokes? He didn’t find them humerus.
- A rainy Friday is still better than a sunny Monday.
- God gave us Mondays to punish us for the things we did over the weekend.
- What did the cyclops say when he woke up on Monday? “Eye just can’t go to work today!”
- Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, blink, and it’s Monday again.
- How do hens feel on Mondays? Eggs-hausted.
- Why did the cat stay home from school on Monday? He claimed he wasn’t feline well.
- Why did Boba Fett sleep from Tuesday to Sunday? He was a Mondaylorian.
- If every day is a gift, I want to know where I can return Mondays.
- What does the executioner say on Monday mornings? “Time to beheaded to work.”
- What’s worse than Friday the 13th? Monday the 16th.
- Which day of the week are demons most exhausted? De-Monday, just like the rest of us.
- Mondays aren’t so bad, though. Only 48 hours ago, it was a sadder day.
- What’s worse than a Monday morning quarterback? Monday mornings themselves.
- What do you call a person who is happy on Mondays? Unemployed.
- This week starts Diarrhea Awareness Week. It runs until Friday.
- What did the cashew say on Monday morning? “Monday always drives me nuts!”
- Why did the corrupt calendar go to prison at the beginning of the week? He had been Monday laundering!
So, there you have it—some lighthearted humor to help you tackle the start of the week. If you’re looking for more info on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource from the CDC. And if you want to dive deeper into your fertility journey, visit Make A Mom for guidance on artificial insemination kits.
In this journey of life, laughter is essential. Keep smiling and share these jokes to lighten the mood!
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