My daughter took her time potty training, and I felt a wave of embarrassment. I feared that others were judging me for my almost-four-year-old still relying on Pull-Ups. We weren’t just dealing with nighttime accidents; we hadn’t even begun the process. She adamantly refused to enter the bathroom. Despite my efforts to persuade her to sit on both the regular toilet and the adorable little penguin potty I had bought, it felt like an endless battle.
We tried every type of underwear imaginable—ones featuring her favorite characters, cute pink pairs with rainbows and unicorns, and even sensory-friendly microfiber options. Each pair came with empty promises of success that never materialized.
Frustration reached a boiling point, and I felt utterly defeated. I had read countless books, scoured the internet for tips, and sought advice from parenting groups, yet we were at a standstill. Then, one day, my husband had a breakthrough. He sat her on the potty with an iPad and headphones, encouraging her to try. I found it amusing since I had tried everything for two years without success. She cried, screamed, and attempted to get up, but he somehow managed to keep her seated. Then came the moment of surprise—I heard drops in the toilet. She was going! Through tears, she expressed her emotions. When we cheered, she smiled and said, “That wasn’t scary at all.”
It turned out that fear of the unknown had been holding her back. However, this wasn’t a one-time miracle. Over the next few days, she would go for my husband and her grandma, but not for me. When I asked why, she said, “They’re nice to me.” That struck me like a dagger. My frustration had made her feel like I was being mean. I changed my approach, and the next time she needed to go, I stayed calm, and it was a success. I shed happy tears and hugged her tightly. We had turned a corner.
It took a few more days, but she eventually mastered it! She has never worn a Pull-Up at night and has never wet the bed. I’m incredibly proud of her. Here are five insights I wish I had known during our journey that could save you some tears and laundry.
1. Don’t Force It
It’s incredibly frustrating, but the truth is, your child will potty train when they’re ready. Forcing them to do something they’re not prepared for is counterproductive. They may not follow the same timeline as other kids, and that’s perfectly fine. Allow them to take the lead.
2. Be Patient
While it can be challenging, giving up too soon won’t yield results. Prepare for some quality time on the bathroom floor, reading books, singing songs, and just being present. If you maintain your patience, the potty-training journey will become a more positive experience.
3. Avoid Anger or Threats
If you feel overwhelmed, step away and take a deep breath. Yelling or scolding will only create resentment towards you and the potty. Instead of taking away privileges, consider rewarding them with a fun new pair of underwear or a movie night. Make potty time something they look forward to.
4. The Naked Method Isn’t Always a Miracle Solution
Many swear by letting kids go naked to help them understand their body’s signals. However, not every child responds to this method. If your child has an accident, don’t see it as a failure. Try using underpants next time, as they often create a stronger motivation to stay dry.
5. Praise is Key
Kids thrive on positive reinforcement. Shower them with praise and consider small incentives like stickers or treats. A hug and a smile can go a long way in encouraging them when they succeed.
Potty training can be a challenging phase that no one truly enjoys. Just remember, you’re asking your child to engage in something completely new and potentially intimidating. The calmer and happier you are, the smoother the experience will be. Accidents will happen, tears will fall, and it might take multiple tries, but that’s all part of the process.
If your child is a late potty trainer, don’t stress. You are not failing as a parent, and your child is not flawed. Everyone has their own pace, and that’s okay. Take a breather; you’ve got this!
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Summary
Navigating potty training with a late-blooming child can be filled with challenges and frustrations. However, understanding your child’s readiness, maintaining patience, avoiding anger, and providing encouragement and positive reinforcement can lead to a successful and less stressful experience. Remember, it’s all about their pace—take heart, and you will get there!