You Don’t Have to Be Available Just Because You’re Around

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When I returned to work after dedicating thirteen years to being a stay-at-home mom, I struggled to separate work from family life. I often thought it was acceptable to respond to emails during dinner or send a pitch while shopping in the grocery store’s baking aisle. Rather than compartmentalizing my time, I made myself perpetually available. I neglected taking a vacation for three years and lacked a defined work schedule, leading to a continuous blur of responsibilities.

Initially, I convinced myself that I needed to prove my dedication by being reachable at all times. I believed it was harmless to quickly answer a call or respond to emails promptly, but this mindset had its downsides. We all know that one quick reply can easily spiral into a half-hour distraction, causing us to miss precious family moments.

Eventually, I learned that just because I was free on a Saturday afternoon didn’t mean I had to work. If I received an email at midnight, it wasn’t necessary to address it before my feet hit the floor in the morning. Before coming to this realization, I found myself increasingly irritable and disorganized, often making careless mistakes at work. My focus was scattered across my job, time with my kids, and personal relationships. I was the friend who would say, “Just a moment, I need to email my editor,” often ignoring my boyfriend when I should have been present with him.

A turning point came when I started canceling my weekly lunch dates because I prioritized work instead. A friend, a labor and delivery nurse, candidly reminded me, “We meet for 45 minutes once a week. Can you really not spare that?” She shared a recent experience where they almost lost a patient, highlighting that stepping away from work could actually improve my productivity. She was absolutely right.

Being constantly available is draining and detrimental to our mental well-being. It’s important to recognize that just because we can respond to every demand doesn’t mean we should. For those of us who find this difficult, The Muse offers a helpful tip: “Take a moment to assess the individual demand and its potential impact on your schedule and well-being.” This reflection can help us feel more comfortable saying no to requests that don’t serve our priorities.

Instead of immediately agreeing to every request, we can communicate to colleagues that we will get back to them after reviewing our schedules. This maintains a balance and sets expectations that we won’t drop everything for every task. Our careers, much like our personal relationships, thrive on boundaries; people will continually request our help if they believe we will always say yes.

While we are expected to work hard and perform well, being available 24/7 is not a requirement. Answering that email tomorrow instead of at 10:00 p.m. when you’re winding down may not make a significant difference. If we continuously overextend ourselves, everyone—including ourselves—loses out.

Once I started designating specific time blocks for work, family, and personal time, I realized it was okay to let some things wait. I didn’t fall behind in my career; instead, my family was happier, and I became more efficient without the frustration of taking on too much. When work is integrated into life rather than consuming it, productivity flourishes during those dedicated hours.

Consider your current situation. Are you delegating enough? Have you voiced your feelings to your supervisor and colleagues? Have you assessed how you’re spending your time? Remember, valuing your career doesn’t mean saying yes to every request or being perpetually available. That approach will only lead to burnout.

This is a valuable reminder for us all: it’s not a matter of an all-or-nothing approach. Prioritizing our lives and well-being can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling existence. For more insights on similar topics, check out this blog post on home insemination. If you’re looking to enhance your fertility journey, consider visiting this resource.

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In summary, learning to set boundaries between work and personal life is essential for maintaining mental health and building stronger relationships. By intentionally designating time for work, family, and self-care, we can achieve a more harmonious balance that fosters productivity and happiness.