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The “terrible twos” phase was largely uncharted territory for me since my first child bypassed this stage and only briefly entered the “three-nager” phase of attitude and sass. However, when my son turned two, everything changed. My sweet little baby transformed into a whirlwind of energy—climbing, running, jumping, and yelling “NO!” at every turn. I suddenly found myself wrestling with a mini alligator while changing diapers and negotiating over everything with a determined toddler.
It was the onset of the notorious “terrible twos” that I had heard about and dreaded. I dove into research, searching for answers: “Is a two-nager real?” “Is it typical for my two-year-old to switch from joy to anger in an instant?” “How can I soothe a furious toddler?” “Should I just give in?” and finally “Help!” If you could see my Google search history during this time, it would take you hours to sift through.
After all that research, I realized that I needed to stop feeling guilty about my son’s energetic outbursts and tantrums—and here’s why. His spirited behavior, defiance, and emotional intensity are completely normal for children his age. During this developmental phase, it’s easy to question our parenting skills and wonder why our kids aren’t listening, but their behavior is not a reflection of our parenting style.
At this age, children are learning and developing rapidly, but mastering listening skills will take time. Armed with this knowledge and some strategies to help my child manage his emotions, I felt more at ease when my son shrieked in the grocery store or threw a fit in the aisles of Target. Even though I sometimes felt embarrassed and overwhelmed, I came to understand that my toddler was simply being… well, a toddler.
As parents, we often rush to apologize for our children’s actions and blame ourselves for their behavior. I certainly did. It’s all too common to feel judged or like a failure as a parent. However, it’s crucial to remember that toddlers are just acting their age, engaging in typical developmental behavior that anyone who has parented a two-year-old can relate to.
I’m not excusing misbehavior; it’s essential to consider the many factors at play, including their developmental stage. At two, my child isn’t intentionally trying to upset me or make my life difficult. These early years are when they learn how to navigate their emotions and reactions to life. My son, still a baby in many respects, lacks the physical ability to control his feelings. It’s frustrating to see comments on parenting forums that imply I’ve failed as a mother because my child is acting age-appropriately. Society often expects toddlers to stop crying or tantruming at will, but if parenting were that simple, we wouldn’t all be struggling.
So the next time you encounter a parent dealing with a tantruming toddler, resist the urge to judge. Instead, offer a supportive smile or a simple “You’re doing great.” Because ultimately, a child’s behavior says nothing about their parenting.
Let’s stop feeling guilty for our children’s behavior and instead support one another through this challenging yet rewarding journey of parenthood. We can’t expect young children to manage their emotions perfectly when many adults struggle with that too. The immense pressure on both kids and parents only complicates this natural phase of growth.
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Search Queries:
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- Understanding the terrible twos
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In summary, it’s important to recognize that toddler tantrums are a normal part of development. Parents should feel empowered to stop apologizing for their children’s behavior and instead support one another in navigating these challenges.