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Navigating Conversations About Sex in Today’s Landscape
By Jamie Carter
June 24, 2022
For several years now, I have dedicated myself to educating families about puberty to empower children as they transition into their teenage years. On The Growing Up Podcast, my co-host, Dr. Lisa Thompson, and I engage with thousands of parents weekly, discussing the complexities of raising tweens and teens—a journey filled with increasingly nuanced dialogues about sexuality and health.
During our puberty workshops, we educate kids about ovulation and menstruation, detailing the journey of an egg from the ovary, through the fallopian tubes, and into the uterus. We explain that, while it’s common for an egg not to develop into a baby, sometimes a pregnancy does occur. However, we always reassure the kids: “You never have to have a baby if you don’t want to.”
In light of the recent overturning of Roe v. Wade, I’m uncertain if we can still stand by that statement. Today, in a 6-3 ruling on Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, the Supreme Court has effectively nullified the protections that Roe provided for nearly 50 years, despite a significant majority of Americans supporting its preservation. Many in my generation took access to contraception, abortion, and emergency contraception for granted. Unfortunately, the generations before us didn’t enjoy this privilege, and now the future generations may find themselves in a similar predicament.
Reflecting on my own college experience, when a condom broke, my partner and I went to the campus health center without hesitation to obtain the morning-after pill. The nurse explained the potential side effects, provided the medication, and sent us on our way. The most difficult part was the few hours of discomfort that followed as hormones rushed through my system to prevent pregnancy.
We were fortunate to have comprehensive sex education in the 1990s that emphasized safe sex practices, focusing not only on pregnancy prevention but also on avoiding HIV. At that time, the urgency surrounding HIV overshadowed concerns about pregnancy, as the former was irreversible, while the latter could be addressed.
Now, sex education is likely to change yet again—if it’s even being taught at all. With many states enacting restrictive abortion laws, we face the challenge of rethinking how we educate our children about these critical issues. While those of us in progressive states might find solace in the continued legality of abortion, we must still confront the reality of a fragmented landscape of reproductive rights.
Essential Principles for Navigating This New Terrain
- Encourage Open Communication: Having ongoing discussions with our children about their bodies, changes during puberty, and safety is more crucial than ever. By fostering these conversations early, we help them feel comfortable approaching us with questions as they grow into young adults.
- Provide Comprehensive Sex Education: Research consistently shows that teens who receive thorough sex education are more likely to engage in safe sexual practices. Abstinence-only education does not reduce sexual activity; it simply leads to riskier behaviors. Parents should be aware of the curriculum in their teens’ schools and supplement that education at home as needed, particularly on topics like pregnancy prevention and consent.
- Consider College Location: While I once believed that my children’s happiness in college was paramount, I now prioritize the state in which they attend school. Understanding the reproductive rights and available health services in that area is essential. I want my kids to have access to the same resources I had during my college years.
- Initiate Conversations Gently: It’s natural to find it hard to imagine your child becoming sexually active, but the reality is that it will eventually happen. If you suspect your child is becoming involved in sexual activities, approach the topic in a calm and non-judgmental manner. Instead of asking, “Are you having sex?” consider saying, “I’m not sure where you are in your relationship, but I want to discuss some important things to ensure your health and safety.” This approach can help your child feel comfortable seeking guidance when needed.
While the fundamentals of discussing sex with our kids remain unchanged—keeping communication open, proactively addressing topics, and participating in their education—new logistical and legal factors must now be considered. It’s crucial that we guide our teens through this challenging landscape, ensuring they feel supported and informed.
For further insights into reproductive health, you can explore this excellent resource on pregnancy and check out our other blog posts for more information on navigating these conversations. If you’re interested in tools for home insemination, visit Make a Mom for expert guidance.
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In summary, as we adapt to a post-Roe world, it’s essential to maintain open lines of communication about sex and reproductive health with our children. By providing them with accurate information and support, we can empower them to make safe and informed choices about their bodies and futures.