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The Life-Changing Close Call That Shifted My Views on Love and Existence
When I gaze at my partner, I can’t help but envision two distinct realities: one where he’s by my side, and another where he’s absent. In the first scenario, I feel at peace and fulfilled; in the second, I’m adrift and altered forever.
Watching him tuck our kids into bed each night makes me acutely aware of how close we came to never having them at all. That thought often leaves me breathless. How could I navigate life without these beautiful souls?
This near-miss occurred 14 years ago when my husband was diagnosed with a rare and typically deadly cancer just 18 months after we tied the knot. Our dreams of building a family and growing old together seemed almost impossible, just like his chances of survival.
Now, when I see him in his “man cave,” the detached garage where he lifts weights and does countless pull-ups to stay fit, I feel a mix of gratitude and disbelief. Given the grim statistics—less than a 10 percent chance of living another five years after his diagnosis—we know that we are among the lucky few. Many others diagnosed with adrenal carcinoma back in 2001 didn’t make it; few are around to enjoy moments like saying goodnight to their kids, who may never have been born.
Recently, I came across a heartfelt post by a well-known figure, Carla Jensen, who shared her sorrow after losing her husband unexpectedly while he was exercising. Her words resonated deeply with me, and my heart ached for her and her family. I wished for a happier ending for them as well.
Yet, Carla’s resilience shines through. She expressed, “When tragedy strikes, you face a choice: to succumb to the emptiness or to seek meaning. I’ve spent many moments engulfed in that void, but when I can, I choose life and purpose.”
During my husband’s darkest days, I too felt lost in that void. When doctors likened his treatment to rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic, I feared drowning in despair. I spent countless nights on uncomfortable hospital chairs, grappling with the unthinkable thought of losing him. If he were to leave this world suddenly, how could I carry on? Would I be forever shrouded in sorrow, tasting loss in every moment?
Fortunately, we never had to face that reality. Against all odds, my husband defied expectations, and I thank the universe—random chance or divine intervention, I’m grateful every single day. I hold him and our children close, sometimes so tightly they roll their eyes and protest, “Mom, enough!” But little do they know, it will never be enough for me or their dad. Our hugs are endless, because we understand how miraculous they truly are.
On quiet evenings, we sit together on our front porch swing, rocking in silence, silently acknowledging our brush with tragedy. We cherish each other and express our gratitude often. We consciously choose life and meaning, well aware that this choice comes easier after escaping what could have been a heartbreaking end to our beautiful journey.
So, if you love your partner, your children, your life—lean into it, embrace it fully, and let them know. Don’t wait; reach out to those who matter most to you.
For more insights on family and love, check out some of our other posts, like this one on intracervical insemination. If you’re looking for reliable information on artificial insemination, Make a Mom is a great resource. Additionally, IVF Babble offers excellent guidance on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, life can change in an instant, and appreciating every moment becomes essential. Embrace your loved ones, cherish your time together, and choose to focus on the beauty of existence.