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Embracing 40: More Than Just a Number
For the past few months, I’ve been dreading my upcoming birthday. It’s not that I dislike celebrating — in fact, I adore any chance to whip up a cake and bask in the attention! However, this year feels different.
The anxiety started creeping in about six months ago when an old colleague, Mark, called me for a catch-up. When I mentioned my age, he nearly had a meltdown. “No way! Really?” he exclaimed. I couldn’t tell if he was shocked I was older than he thought or if it made him feel ancient since he hired me straight out of college years ago. He jokingly warned, “Don’t put that on your blog, or you’ll kiss TV jobs goodbye!” While I knew he was partly teasing, he had a point. In the media industry, a woman’s age can feel like a ticking clock, and sometimes it seems that how we look matters more than our skills. Men don’t seem to face the same scrutiny, which is a frustrating double standard. For many in television, age isn’t just a number; it can be a career killer.
As the summer wore on, I found myself consumed by worries. I questioned whether I had achieved enough in life. Would I still have the opportunity to fulfill my dreams? Did my worth diminish because I hadn’t had a bigger family? And with the emergence of my first gray hair and body changes due to perimenopause, I began to doubt my attractiveness.
In my misery, I declared I wouldn’t celebrate this year. I told my husband there would be no parties — I wanted to keep my age a secret from colleagues. I wanted to deny the moment and escape into the sand like an ostrich.
But deep down, I realized I was being a total hypocrite. I constantly tell my daughters to embrace who they are, yet I was failing to accept myself. I wasn’t celebrating the incredible journey I’ve had in my career; instead, I fixated on what I hadn’t accomplished. And then it hit me: So what? So what if I’m about to turn 40? So what if people see me aging and prioritizing my family? So what if I’m no longer a size 4 and my clothes are a bit snug? I am exactly where I’m meant to be, and it’s time to stop resisting it.
As I sit here on the eve of my 40th birthday, I’m finally ready to embrace the journey that has shaped me. I’m looking forward to this new decade. To those who say “age is just a number,” let me tell you: it’s so much more than that.
Turning 40 has been a transformation for me. Initially, I dreaded it, but now I wear it like a badge of honor. It represents the strength of my marriage after nearly a decade of battling infertility. It signifies my resilience through the struggles of needles, surgeries, and IVF, which ultimately led me to motherhood. Forty reflects a woman who, after four decades of life, still feels fabulous. It’s inspired me to quit trying to please others and launch my own business. It has taught me to finally be true to myself.
So here’s to living in love and cherishing what lies ahead. Sure, years may just be numbers, but they slip away far too fast to waste any more time on counting. Now is the moment to simply live — authentically and joyfully.
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Summary
Turning 40 can be daunting, but it also signifies growth, resilience, and the beauty of life experiences. Embracing this new decade means celebrating oneself and recognizing that age is more than just a number; it’s a testament to the journey we’ve traveled.